I don't have much to say today, other than thank you all for such an enthusiastic response to my last post, A Little ExSpearmint. So, for Super Bowl Sunday thought I'd bring on the Zoku popsicle maker, make some more mint ice cream, use up some of those pesky little Thin Mints and well, I'll let the picture do the talking. See you soon.

It’s that time of year. The time of year when I hear the annual cry of the Girl Scout. The Girl Scouts are out in full force. They're everywhere. They're in front of the supermarket. They’re in front of the donut shop. (No, I did not get a donut. I saw them when I was driving by.) They were even at my kids' school picnic.

How many of you can resist the Call of the Thin Mint? I cannot. I have to muster up all of my courage within (yoga moments) and do everything in my will power to NOT buy a case of Thin Mints. But, at my kids’ school picnic, there were only three boxes of Thin Mints left, and I bought two. Now, many of you are thinking, "What reserve!"; "What self control!" I did not buy that last box of Thin Mints. I scooped up my two and walked away. Must. Step. Away. From. The Thin Mints.

Thin Mint Addiction: A Familiar Story to Many
Now, I had every intention of savoring the Thin Mints by myself at home, locked in the closet, just me, the green box, and the 4 columns of deliciousness that I have known ever since I was a wee lass. But, I was greeted with, “Mommy, Mommy, what IS that?” “What are these called?" "May I have one?"

So, I caved. The two bipedal hominids that I call my children devoured a whole column of Thin Mints (their first Thin Mints ever) on the 10 minute ride home from the school picnic.  And their dad didn't even help. Now, my husband was born and raised in Europe, so he has not had the lifelong love affair with the Thin Mints that so many of you and I have. But his first exposure to addiction would come circa 1985 when he was an exchange student with a crazy spikey 80s hairdo and matching silk shirts in Dublin, Georgia.

Where the hell is Dublin, Georgia? I don’t know, and I probably never will bother to look. However, what I do know is that Dublin, Georgia has Girl Scouts. Where there are Girl Scouts, there are Girl Scout Cookies. Where there are Girl Scout Cookies, there are Thin Mints. Where there are Thin Mints, there are people like you and me. Hoarders. Addicts. Even European exchange students a/k/a Thin Mint virgins. It was there in Dublin, Georgia, where my husband experienced his first time. (Get your mind out of the gutter- his first time eating Thin Mints.)

The Frozen Thin Mint
Now, in discussing with the other parents at the school picnic the best way to eat a Thin Mint (you know I pride myself on my interviewing and surveying skills, not to mention my advanced data analysis abilities), the general consensus is that they are best eaten frozen. Nothing quite like the crisp snap of the frozen Thin Mint cookie. 

An ExSpearmint
This then leads me to my little Spearmint Experiment, my ExSpearmint, if you will. The question is, how best to savor the Thin Mint well beyond Girl Scout cookie season? And to savor it my favorite way: frozen?

Well, there can be only one way: ICE CREAM!!! Now, I know for many of you who live up north, the last thing you want to do is eat ice cream, especially because you're waiting for another blizzard to hit, or you're still waiting for the spring thaw.  But, I have been enjoying the Southern Florida climate on your behalf, so I thought I’d be thoughtful again and make ice cream on your behalf. I am, after all, a giver.

So, to celebrate the winter's bounty of Girl Scout cookies and enjoy this warm beach weather and cloudless, sunny skies, I am going to make Mint Thin Mint ice cream.  Since I'm enjoying everything on your behalf, I'll have you know you're having a great time.

Now, I love a good Thin Mint cookie. However, the thought of  cool and refreshing mint ice cream married with the perfection of the Thin Mint cookie might just make my taste buds explode. Well, they were just mint to be together. Sorry. I couldn't resist.

The Base Mint Freezer
I did do some research, and Martha Stewart and Dave Lebovitz both have a very similar recipe. I kind of did a combination of both of theirs.  So, I started with your basic every day ice cream base: 2 cups of milk, 1 cup of heavy cream, 3/4 cup of sugar. This would be the step that you would add whatever flavor you want to add into your ice cream (vanilla, green tea, cinammon brown sugar, for example, or even candied ginger). I’m doing mint. So in a pot I heated up 2 cups of milk and 1 cup of heavy cream, plus the sugar. I threw 2 bunches of mint into the pot and brought everything up to a simmer. I turned off the heat and covered it. Then I let the mint leaves steep in the milk for a couple of hours.

After the two hours, I squeezed out all liquid from the mint leaves and discarded them. The milk/cream mixture is now a very light green. You might even call it a mint green.

Next, I made the custard  ice cream base. To do this, I heated up the milk/cream again. Dave uses 5 egg yolks, Martha's recipe calls for 8, but I just used 6. They both suggest the same thing: temper the egg yolks. This means raise their temperature by adding just a little bit of the heated milk/cream mixture to the yolks. This ensures that you don’t end up with scrambled eggs. I then returned the egg mixture to the pot and cooked it while stirring until the custard thickened. If you run your finger down the back of a wooden spoon with the custard on it, it should be thick enough for you to see the line that you drew. 

When the custard was ready, I took it off the heat and cooled it over an ice bath. I then added the remaining cup of cold cream and refrigerated it for a few hours. It can chill overight too. Next, I put the custard into the ice cream maker. When the ice cream was set, and before I transferred it to my freezer container, I mixed in crushed Thin Mint cookies. I also threw in some chopped milk chocolate for good measure, just in case it wasn’t chocolately enough.

The ice cream was ready to go into the freezer. I actually couldn’t wait for it to freeze, so I ate it “soft serve" style. I'm sure an Oreo cookie would be great in there, but there's something about the Thin Mint cookie being encased in refreshing and minty ice cream, even in the dead of winter. Try it. You’ll love it. This one is worth a mint. Scout’s honor.

    Hi all. I didn't think I'd be back so soon, but I just wanted to thank y'all for trying out the bagel recipe. That bagel post generated quite a bit of enthusiasm here, on my facebook page, and on your own facebook pages, in addition to some Friday night bagel making. I'm thrilled that some of you tried it so soon after my last post, and I'm even more thrilled if you ate them hot out of the oven. I also understand that the lox market is on the rise today.
    In fact, your enthusiasm inspired me to have another round of bagel making today.I actually managed to get 30 bagels from that recipe- I made some minis for the two small hominids living in my home, and I went gourmet on you with pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, black sesame seeds, and the like. 
     I'd love to hear your stories of your adventures into the Simple Foods, Stressed Out World suggestions, and thanks for playing this round. 
    Oh and, for those of you who are so inspired, feel free to haiku about your simplefoods experiences!

So, I’m making bagels tonight. Scared? Don't be. It’s so damn easy, that you won’t even believe it. And you'll be a bagel snob afterwards. Homemade bagels are like the iPhone. Once you switch, you ain't ever going back. They are that life changing.

I have a great book called The Bagel Bible. If I’m not mistaken, I think the authors’ last name is actually Bagel. Seriously. Google it- I’m sure you can find it on Amazon. I can’t find it in my sea of boxes in the garage, so I’m just going to tell you by memory how to make the basic bagel dough. I have adapted it throughout the years, though. You can actually use any bread dough recipe. Even the New York Times no knead would work here too.

You really don’t need that many ingredients. You just need patience. Believe me, when I’m all by myself in my sleepless little world, I’ve got nothing but time.

It’s Alive!
Start by proofing two packets of yeast. This means put  ½ cup of tepid water in a bowl with two packets of yeast. Make sure the water is not too hot, or you'll kill off all the yeast. Add two teaspoons of sugar. Yeast needs sugar to come alive. Wait five to ten minutes. The yeast should get frothy. This means your yeast is good to go. If your yeast doesn't get frothy, toss it out and start again. Say yeast again. Yeast.
 
Next, add about 2 cups of water (I say “about” simply because with flour and water, everything really depends on the climate. In Florida, I can get away with less water, and I need more flour. You just have to feel it out.) Then add 2 teaspoons of salt. If you are low or no sodium, you can leave the salt out.

Easy Doughs It
Then mix in about 5 ½ to 6 cups of flour. Here, you can do any variations. You can use normal all purpose flour, you can use high gluten bread flour, you can use a mixture, you can use wheat flour. Again the variations are endless. If you're a first timer, use the high gluten bread flour.

The dough is pretty darn sticky at this point, especially if it’s a humid day. Add some flour but not too much. You don't want the dough to be too dry. The more you work the flour, the more it will come together. You are working the gluten in the flour. That is what gives the bagel its texture.

As you get more advanced you can start mixing ingredients into the dough to make your boutique bagels - cranberry walnut, sundried tomato/black olive, cinnamon raisin, and the list goes on.

The Need to Knead
Pretty soon you will have a ball of dough, but it will be tough. So, you have to knead it. If you’re lazy, use the paddle attachment on your standing mixer to let it knead the dough. But if you’re like me, you knead by hand. There's something really Zen and organic about kneading the dough by hand. So Mother Earth. As you knead, go to your safe space in your head. It's calming.

At first the dough is really stiff. But after about 10 minutes of kneading, it becomes supple and silky, and not sticky at all. Continue kneading for another 5 minutes or so. Those 15 minutes of kneading have gotten me through many a midnight writer’s block.

Cut the dough into even pieces. It really depends on how big you want your bagels to be. I find that this much dough yields 14 big bagels, 16 mediums, or 18 perfect sized bagels. Roll the dough pieces into balls. Make a hole in the center with your fingers and shape the bagel.  Put them on a baking sheet that is sprinkled with corn meal. 

The dough now needs to rise for 2 hours: One hour covered with a tea towel on the counter, and one hour uncovered in the refrigerator.

Kettle Call

The key to getting that chewy bagel texture is the kettling process. All this means is that you cook them in a pot of boiling water for a few minutes before you bake them. Don’t be intimidated by this step at all. Can you boil water? Then you can do this.

After the bagels rise in the refrigerator, boil the water. At this point, also preheat your oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit. Drop 4 or 5 bagels into the boiling water, turning them every 30 to 45 seconds or so. They should float when you put them in there. If not, they'll eventually float. I've never had a bagel that sank. You can also add either a tablespoon of barley malt or molasses to the boiling water.  I didn't feel like hiking all the way to Whole Foods for barley malt, so I used molasses. Is the barley malt/molasses necessary? No. But it does add a little color and dimension to the flavor.

After about 4 minutes of kettling, take them out and pat them dry. Spread cornmeal on your baking sheet and transfer the kettled bagels to the sheet. This is the point where you add your toppings. Today, I used flax seeds, sea salt, poppy seeds, and sesame seeds.

Bagelicious
Pop those babies into the oven for 25 to 30 minutes, depending how golden brown you want them to be. Cool them on racks, and you are ready to eat!

Slice them, freeze them, eat them, gift them! Either way, you will love these bagels.

Back Bay Bagel Brief
And so it goes, my dear eight faithful readers. In closing, I would like to tell you a nice bagel bedtime story. It is a true story, not just one based on facts.  

Seven years ago, when I was still fully immersed in academe (ugh- whole different blog for a whole different day), I was sitting at a café in downtown Boston. I was scheduled to present a three hour workshop that morning (yawn) on foreign language learning, and I didn't want to do so on an empty stomach. So, I wandered down to the convention center and sat to prep my notes and have a bagel. 

A British family approached the counter to order their breakfast. The father, a man in his mid forties, walked up and in a shaky voice, said, “Two bagels, please.” Only, he didn’t say bagels. He said “ba-GELs (more like bug-ELLs.) Think about the very first time you ever spoke a foreign language to a native speaker of that language. That's how this man's voice sounded, even if they were all native English speakers.

Well, nobody knew what the hell he was talking about, and moments of hesitation, perspiration, and frustration ensued. I, of course, was eavesdropping. (My momma taught me well.) I had a moment of Should I or Shouldn’t I?  After all, I was a linguistics professor, and I was fascinated by the mere fact that we all speak the same language, but nobody seemed to be getting breakfast very easily. I myself barely understood the barista when he asked if I wanted a "dahk" roast or not.

Linguistic side note: Could somebody please tell me what the hell the origin of the word barista is? Ok, I know it’s Italian, because as the eight of you know, I speak fake Italian, but when the heck did we adopt that into the English language, and where was I when that happened?

In true linguistics professor fashion, I chose to remedy the situation in the most non-intrusive way possible. In fact, one of the topics in my workshop that morning was reducing anxiety in language learning situations. So, I chose to teach these newcomers how to pronounce the word correctly by way of a preferred language professor technique: the recast. Meaning, don’t alert the poor individual to the fact that he made an error. Rather, recast the statement with the correction in it. Parents, you do this constantly. Yes, there's a term for it! Who knew you'd get linguistics and bagels all at once?

With resolve, I stood up, marched right up to the counter, returned my empty plate and cup, and I said (properly enunciated,  with exaggerated slow speed, mind you, for the benefit of our British friends), "The bagel was delicious. Thank you." I turned on my heel, and walked away. At precisely that moment, I heard the British man, with perfect pronunciation, say to the barista, "Right. As I was saying, two bagels, please."  Sigh. Grin. Teachable moments.

It’s early evening, and I’m staring down the barrel of a triple deadline. But for some reason I’m writing my blog and not the things I’m supposed to be writing. I’m also freezing. It’s not really that cold here in Florida. I’m freezing probably because my blood is thinning out down here. I don’t have to keep insulated and live off my body fat, so I find I get colder more easily. (Believe me, I could survive a couple of Northern winters on that alone.) I fit right in with the retiree set. I’m actually chilled enough to want to make a warm, hearty, comforting soup.

I was in Denver this past week, and all I could think of was cozying up to a fire with a hearty bowl of soup and a crusty piece of homemade bread. That’s what I feel like right now.

Like many of you, I keep some staples in the pantry. I always have dried lentils. They get me out of a jam if I can't think of anything for dinner. My husband's favorite soup in the whole world (other than my mom’s Magic Soup) is lentil soup.

I used to not be a fan of lentils. I found them to be chalky and gritty. Little did I know that when done correctly, they are like little jewels that pop in your mouth. And these jewels happen to be packed with protein and very low in fat. They also suck up all the flavor you add to them. The result is an extremely hearty comfort food that tastes even better the next day.

Let’s talk about the actual lentil itself. It is a lovely legume. I find that the lentils in the local ethnic markets are a lot higher quality than the packaged ones at the supermarket. For starters, the supermarket ones are sanitized for North American audiences.

I also learned that the higher quality foods are not always the nicely packaged ones. I actually buy my lentils at my local ethnic market. Now, I won't lie to you. You have to pick through them to get rid of the twigs, the stones, little clumps of soil, and yes, I kid you not, an occasional dried out shell of a beetle or other insect. At first I was turned off by these things. But after a triple wash and a serious picking through the sack of lentils, I'm good to go. After all, the lentils come from the earth, and don’t all of those other things also come from the earth? I guarantee these lentils are plumper, they are more succulent, and they actually do pop in your mouth. Something about the ethnic market lentils puts them in a class above your everyday packaged lentils in the aisles of your everyday supermarket.

So, when I’m getting ready to make my soup, I pretty much dig through whatever is on hand in the fridge and throw that in the pot. First, I prepare the lentils. Once they’re picked through and triple washed, I pour boiling water over them and let them sit for a good half hour. This lessens the cooking time and softens them up.
While the lentils are soaking, I rummage through the fridge. This time I have some celery that my mom put in the fridge because they were two for one at the supermarket. NOT my favorite snack food, but great for this soup. I also found some carrots, some onions, and some Campari tomatoes. I have some leftover ham and the ham bone in my freezer from New Year's Eve, and I also found the rind of an aged parmiggiano reggiano cheese. Yes, save those up and freeze them. Throw them in your soups and stews. They add a salty nuttiness and depth of flavor that regular salt will not give you.

So, I didn’t even thaw out my ham. I just chopped it up frozen. I sautéed the onions, carrots and celery, and threw the ham bone in with the chopped up pieces of ham. For you non-ham eaters out there, you don't need ham. You can use smoked turkey leg, turkey or chicken bones, or even beef bones. For the vegetarians, you can skip the bones all together and just use really excellent stock. But ham is what was in my freezer, so that’s what I’m throwing in my soup.

I had some fresh rosemary and a couple of bay leaves, so those can go in, along with some salt and pepper to taste. Add chicken or vegetable stock and a squirt of tomato paste. (I find tomato paste in a tube to be most convenient.- Have you ever used a whole can of tomato paste? I haven't. The tube may be a little more expensive, but I find it to be more concentrated in flavor and it goes farther than the can does.)

Once the liquid comes to a boil, I drain my lentils, which should be soft by now. I put them in the soup and let the soup simmer for a good 25 to 30 minutes.

I garnish the top with a little sprinkle of parmiggiano reggiano and a nice bunch of celery leaves. I serve it piping hot with a big hunk of homemade bread. I would normally chop up some fresh parsley to garnish the soup, but I don’t have any, so I’m just going to use celery leaves.* They are actually very tasty.

*Side recipe, thanks to Mike V, whom I have to thank for introducing me to celery leaves. Spread butter on a piece of crusty bread. Top with a couple of celery leaves and sprinkle with bleu cheese. Pop the bread under the broiler, and you have a delicious side to accompany any soup! Thank you, Mike! I’ve made that recipe for over 15 years, and it has become one of my favorite comfort foods. Every time I make that bread to accompany my soup, it takes me right back to wonderful memories of cold Massachusetts winters back in the day with great friends, great food, and an all around great time.

It’s that time of year. The time I have to deal with my accounting for my language services business. I’m feeling pretty snarky because of it. I’m also in a bad mood because the phone company cut off my ability to call my sister in Spain. They told me it was because of “high usage” and it “looked suspicious.”  So instead of calling me to offer me alternative money saving plans, they just barred my access to calling the number. They told me I had to produce two forms of ID and prove my residency to prove that those calls are legit. Dear Big Brother, Like hell. This is also the time of year when no one can talk to me for a three day period of time because of the DIY accounting. That’s hard to do with a full schedule, two kids under 5, my second career as a chauffeur, and my now stepped-up exercise regimen, thanks to this blog.

So now, I’m all “cara limón.” Literally translated, that means lemon face. We know it as sourpuss. It means that I’m ticked off. I have to freaking bake something now to make myself feel better. I can’t find my lemons. Where are my freaking lemons?!!!!! Argh!!!
For some reason lemons here in Florida are expensive at the grocery store. Hello?! Did no one get the memo? I live in FLORIDA. Why are lemons 2 for $1.50? The citrus is falling off the trees at the park behind my house, and I have to pay $3.00 for 4 lemons? Stuff, it Publix, I’m off to Costco.

Come numbers time every January, I turn to a very simple food for a few very simple reasons:
1)      It eases the stressful task of (and distracts me from) doing my accounting.
2)      Along with my Quickbooks software, it is a match made in heaven.
3)      It is easy to make at 3 AM when my mind is racing, but I need to do something with my hands that does  
         not involve exercise, typing, calculating, or hand/eye coordination.
4)      It freezes well, especially after 4 or 5 nights of stress baking.
5)      It ships well. Many people have received these in the mail after one of my typical weeks of insomnia.

Yes, I love this food. Yes, I would marry it. So would you. If I were Tom Cruise, (and we’re all quite thankful I’m not), I’d be jumping on Oprah’s couch doing the (sorry-ass) white man’s fist pump and shouting out to the world how in love I am with this food. So, this is my love letter, my homage, my yes-I-am-totally-into-you ode to the one, the only, Paula Deen's lemon bars.  

I really do not stray from the Paula Deen recipe. I follow it to a tee, and it is consistent every time. I’ve made grown men fall to their knees and weep for these lemon bars. You will too. If you want to woo someone sans chocolat, this is the one. And, it’s another no-fail, one bowl only recipe.

First, let’s talk crust. It can’t be graham cracker. Graham cracker is way too sweet. It may work for a key-lime type of bar, but not for the lemon bar. The lemon bar crust really has to stand up to the intense lemon flavor and not overpower it. The texture of the crust also has to complement the smooth silk of the lemon custard filling that will top it. So guess what friends, it really has to have butter. It has to be firm. It has to have a little bit of sweetness, but not too much. It also helps to have a teeny tiny bit of salt to offset that lemon party that is going to take place in your mouth when you bite into these velvety smooth creamy tart sweetness  (or sweet tartness, you choose) of the lemon bar.

It’s your basic shortbread crust, but because it’s made with butter (duh) and powdered sugar, it is as smooth and silky as the soft white sands of the Florida Gulf shores. I am telling you I could lay me down on a bed of this sugar-butter-flour mixture and sleep like a baby. And that scent of lemon is just enough to lull me into a Rip-Van-Winkle-esque slumber. You think I’m kidding? Already the bitter taste of my phone call with my long distance provider and the thought of my accounting are in the distant past.

Your crust will look like this (below).Do not worry that it does not look moist. That butter will melt and turn this powder into something so special that you will profess your love for it openly, honestly, and often. Prebake for about 20 minutes. It will look like one big sugar cookie (and your house will smell like a butter dream).
.

Pour the lemon /sugar/egg mixture onto the crust, bake, and then return it to the oven for another 25 minutes. Let it cool, and dust it with powdered sugar. Cut it into squares, serve, and turn that cara limón frown upside down. All the way through tax time.

Hello, all! I'm busy working on my next blog post, but I wanted to take a moment to recognize the winner of my blog naming contest. The baked yumminess that you see is just a sample of the homemade treats that are on their way to Emily C. and family of Elkridge, Maryland.
Thanks to everyone who played and voted. Stay tuned to the blog for more chances to win prizes from the Simple Foods, Stressed Out World kitchens.
Congratulations, Emily, and enjoy your treats!

It’s 12:14 AM EST. I'm up late. House is quiet. Everyone is asleep. I've been keeping both East and West Coast office hours lately, so I’m pretty sleepy today. I was up late the past three nights, but I wasn’t working then. Obviously I’m not working now. Anyway, I’m on deadline, and as you can see I’m diligently working away at the piece of writing that’s not due. 

I’m actually one of those people who is extremely productive, but only if I have distractions around me. I'll sit in front of the television with my computer (sometimes two computers!), flip channels, and have one computer screen open with my work, another screen open with my facebook page, and another screen open with an IM I'm engaged in with a friend who is also up as late as I am. I think I would definitely get less done in an office setting. Now I can add my blog to that list of open computer screens.

So, I don’t feel like concentrating on my work right now. I was IMing with my friend Emily (she of the blog naming contest, yes). We hadn’t IMed in a few weeks because of the holidays. Of course, we started talking about food. Somehow we started talking about popcorn. Now I choose popcorn over any other snack - I just love popcorn so much- but only when it's done right. (Linguistic side note: note the use of common technology nouns as verbs: I IMed; I'm facebooking. I'm blogging.)

Popcorn wronged:
● Microwave popcorn
● Air popped popcorn
● Expensive gourmet flavored popcorn like “peppercorn parmesan,”   “hot sauce popcorn," and heaven help us, "spinach popcorn"
● Stale popcorn (the kind you find in those huge bags at Wal Mart or Target)
● Burnt popcorn

I'm sure there are many other ways to wrong popcorn. Feel free to add to the list.

Popcorn done right:
●  Circus/carnival or movie theater popcorn that has just been popped. I repeat, just been popped. I want to see that steam rising from the kettle. I want to see the popcorn emptying from the popper into the glass cabinet. I want to smell summer coming out of that machine.

● Any popcorn at Garrett in Chicago (especially the cheddar cheese/caramel corn mix. Oh my.) Twenty-plus years ago when I was but an undergrad, and there was no Internet (the horrors!), the experience at Garrett was so unique. Now, I can have Garrett popcorn any time I want. Thank you, Internet! Surprisingly, though, I have not ordered from them. As my husband says, "Isn't it enough just knowing you can order from them?" (Dear Honey, Shove it.)

● Popcorn made at home with a few simple tools: a big stock pot and lid, a little bit of canola oil, and Orville Redenbacher popcorn. (Emily and I both agree that every other popcorn is inferior. Orville Redenbacher has bigger and fluffier kernels, and almost all of them pop. Every time. That, in combination with real butter, and real salt, makes for the perfect bowl of popcorn.)

We all have our special tricks of how to make a great bowl of popcorn. Em's and my technique differ a little bit, but we actually do the same thing- she pours all her kernels in at once and then turns the heat down after the first pops can be heard. I put in three kernels, wait for them to pop, and then pour the rest of the kernels in. The effect on temperature is the same- I'm putting cold kernels into the pot, and lowering the heat that way. She actually lowers the heat. We both keep the lid on, but open just a crack. This way the steam escapes. When the popping slows down, I take the lid off and let the rest of the kernels pop off of the heat. Works every time. Maximum poppage. Minimal effort. Zero burnage. No sogginess. 
 
Then, drizzle on melted butter and salt at will. Obviously this is not a daily treat. This is a guilty pleasure, a luxury. Surprisingly, I don't make popcorn that often, but when I do, I let myself go whole hog.

Kernel, Meet Sugar

Kernel definitely knows how sweet and hot Sugar is. And Kernel knows damn well that they’ll get married and live happily ever after. They will make sweet caramel corn together. Now, of course, I can’t just settle for popcorn. My favorite type of popcorn is actually kettle corn, with caramel corn coming in a close second. And I just love the salty and sweet together. Oh, how I loves me some caramel corn.

This Ain’t Cracker Jack, but it’s like Crack, Jack

A long time ago Sara Moulton, one of my favorite chefs, had a show on the Food Network. She made caramel corn. I have searched the internet up and down for this recipe to provide you with the link, but no success. Luckily all of those years ago, I committed it to memory. (Side note: Of course, I do not do crack. Jeez. As if you had to ask.)

The only recipe that even comes close, so that I could give y'all something to start with, comes from Paula Deen. You can find it here. Looking over her recipe and comparing it to Sara’s, I can tell you that Paula’s caramel corn is more of a butter delivery vehicle. Shocking.

Now, I've not tried Paula’s recipe, but it calls for a large amount of butter. Shocked again. However I'm not working with 8 quarts of popcorn. I'm probably working with about half of that. So, Paula's recipe has the same ingredients as Sara's does.

If I remember correctly, Sara’s recipe calls for a ½ cup to a cup of unpopped popcorn. Pop the corn. Here is the key to awesome caramel corn: salt and butter the popcorn before you put the caramel on. (Tip du jour: grind kosher salt down with a mortar and pestle- it becomes super fine. You will end up using less salt with maximum coverage.) Caramel and salt are another one of those matches made in heaven. Throw in some baking soda, and they have chemistry. Literally.

To make the caramel, heat ½ a stick of unsalted butter, 1 ¼ cup light brown sugar- if you like your caramel corn caramelly-er, use 1 ½ cup light brown sugar. Add ¼ cup of light corn syrup into a pot. Cook this on medium high heat until the mixture reaches 255-–260 degrees on a candy thermometer. Yes, a candy thermometer is necessary. Some people get scared off when they see that you need a candy thermometer. Don’t be afraid. This is the easiest (and quickest) way to satisfy that nagging need for caramel corn. (I’m talking to you, Janel- this will be important in making English toffee, but I digress.)  

So at this point, you have a boiling pot of sweet gooey heaven that is 260 degrees. Take it off the heat, and add 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract, ½  teaspoon of salt, and ½  teaspoon of baking soda. Stir. The baking soda causes a chemical reaction (Wow! Multidisciplinary lesson today!). The caramel will lighten in color and foam up. Don’t be afraid. Do marvel at the heaven you have at arm's length. 

Pour the caramel over the already popped, buttered, and salted popcorn. Mix to coat. I find that the best technique for this is to pour the caramel directly on the popcorn in the pot that you popped it in. Put on the lid, and shake the pot. Don't forget to use oven mitts for this exercise. Nothing burns like 260 degree sugar.

This is also the point where you would add any extras, like pecans (maximum butteriness!), almonds, and cashews. This way they get candied too. I’m no stranger to the Harry and David Moose Crunch, but I’m somewhat of a caramel corn purist too.

Spread the popcorn onto a baking sheet and dry out the corn in a 250 degree oven for an hour. If you don’t do this step, you are most likely shoveling pieces of hot caramel corn into your mouth at this point. Oh wait. I’m talking about myself. Sorry. The caramel corn needs to dry out a little so it doesn't get soggy.

If you want to make a moose-crunch type of caramel corn, sprinkle chocolate chips over the dried caramel corn when it is fresh out of the oven. When the chocolate melts, spread it around the kernels. Let it cool so the chocolate will solidify.

This is so simple. It's almost Zen. And when you take a bite of that fresh hot caramel corn, you will experience Nirvana (the state of mind, not the band. Duh.).

In fact, this recipe is so simple that I shall honor it with the simplest of simple art forms. Yes, you guessed it, the haiku.  

Hello, small kernel.
Fire hits your belly, and Pop!
Yummy snack for all.
 
Please feel free to share your popcorn related haikus below. I know you want to. I know you can. And please, pass the popcorn.

Il pane apre tutte le bocche. That’s Italian for Bread opens all mouths. True, dat. Combine that bread with some fresh ingredients, a panini press, and some great company, and you have the makings of a panini party!
(Linguistic side note: According to my hipper younger sister, we don't say "True, dat" anymore. Supposedly I can just say "This." to echo the sentiment. Really? Discuss.) 

We decided to have some new friends over to our house here in Florida. No one other than family had been over to our house yet because a) I didn't have any local friends and b) our house is still sky high with boxes from the move. The very thought of entertaining made me nervous.

But, an opportunity came up. And if you know me, I love a golden opportunity. First, a coupon came to my inbox for $70 off of a panini machine at my favorite kitchen store- the same panini machine that was just featured as one of Oprah's favorite things the day before. Thank you, Oprah! Thank you, kitchen coupon gods! Combine that with the fact that I had been dying for a panini machine for years, and an opportunity to socialize, et voilà! Instant panini party.

The best thing about a panini party is that it does not require a lot of preparation. You can buy your favorite breads, fillings, and condiments. Then arrange them nicely on a platter, so guests can prepare their own sandwiches. It cuts down on your prep time, and you spend more time with them. Plus, you can’t go wrong with panini. Pop them in the panini press, and it's a made to order hot sandwich for everyone. It's heaven.

I hadn’t yet discovered our local farmer’s market or the French bakery (which is an hour away), so I made the bread myself. My sister introduced me to a great technique for making bread. It is truly a no-fail recipe. It is a no-knead bread. This is the perfect recipe for yeast bread novices like yours truly.

So, if I can execute this, anyone can.

The idea is that you let the yeast do all of the work over a longer period of time. You just need to plan for the time. If you want fresh bread the day of your panini party, start the no-knead dough 20-28 hours prior to the party. The morning of the party, make the bread. The no-knead dough is a whole other blog post, and there are many recipes out there, but this is the base I used:
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/11/08/dining/081mrex.html

The bread is a miracle. It works every time. It looks like an experienced artisan made this bread. You will get rave reviews of this bread. Guaranteed. You can even make variations on the bread. Can I say bread again? Bread. After the initial rising period, you can mix in ingredients to flavor the dough or mix in different types of flour to vary the grain and texture. For my panini party I prepared three loaves: plain, rosemary roasted garlic sea salt, and sundried tomato.

For the garlic loaf, roast the garlic ahead of time. I actually used a whole head of garlic- once it roasts, the flavor mellows and sweetens. Make no mistake though, it’s still garlic.(Chop off the top of garlic, sprinkle it with S and P, olive oil, and wrap it in aluminum foil. Roast the garlic in a 350 degree oven for about an hour, and let cool.) After the first 24 hour rise of the dough, I mixed in fresh chopped rosemary, a splash of olive oil, and the roasted garlic cloves into the dough. Then I let it rise on the counter before baking. Sprinkle the top with sea salt before you put it in the oven.

For the sundried tomato bread, I just used chopped sundried tomatoes that were packed in olive oil and mixed them into the dough before the second rise.

Can you see the variations now? Pesto-parmesan-pignoli bread, anyone? Prosciutto-asiago? Multi-grain-sunflower seed? And for the sweet tooths out there, cinnamon-brown sugar-raisin is quite popular in our house. The possibilities are endless.

That’s all the cooking I did, really. Then I laid out the spread a/k/a "The Panini Bar." I included a platter of deli meats, roasted vegetables (which I bought at the local gourmet store), fresh basil, fresh mozzarella, fresh tomatoes, pickles, sauerkraut, and various condiments.



The guests arrived, and there was something for everyone. We made Reubens and Rachels on marble rye. We made insalata caprese sandwiches. Something magical happens when fresh tomato, basil and mozzarella have a party on a panini press. We made grilled portabello mushroom and asiago cheese melts. You name it, we made panini from it. And we ate it.

The best part of the afternoon was that I didn’t spend the whole party in the kitchen. I was able to enjoy the conversation with great food and very little work. 

So, tutti a tavola! And open their mouths with fresh, hot panini. 

Hi. My name is Teresa. I’m a mother of two active little girls. I juggle their schedule with my own hectic schedule. I run my own language services business from my home, so I get stressed out a lot. I also find that I’m up late A LOT. I also get writer’s block. So, I cook. Cooking clears my mind. It helps me cope. It helps me think. It inspires ideas. It brings me back to special times, flavors, and scenarios.  The kitchen is my safe space.

I'm also an insomniac by nature.  But I also have a lot of energy. Cooking helps me channel the energy and stress from my world into a creative outlet. It helps me relate to people, and it helps me feel good to feed people.

Let me start by giving you a little background about how my blog came about. Well, the first reason is obvious. I love food. Who doesn’t? But I like to talk about food. A lot. I’m one of those people who eats at a five star restaurant or even at a friend's house- the food is delicious, yet I still manage to talk about the next meal, or dishes I want to eat or cook. It's pathological. But in a good way.

Last summer, my family and I moved from Baltimore to Florida. It was a huge (or)deal for me. I was happily situated in our 100 year old home (with matching kitchen -ugh- long story), and we moved. 

At first, I spent a lot of time alone. I write for a living, so I don’t interact with coworkers the way many traditional members of the American workforce do. I found myself facebooking a lot. And no, I don’t write about food for a living.

I also found that about 90 percent of my posts revolve around food. When we moved, that percentage dropped a little bit because most of my status updates had to do with the move. However, once I got back into my routine, it all somehow went back to food. It continues.  

So with the collective encouragement (read push) from some Baltimore friends (I'm looking at you, Ruby, Emily, and Janel!) I decided to launch a food blog. My dear friends noted that a food blog would combine my passions: writing, food, and photography, all in one place. They’re right. I never thought of it that way. And I’m a noticer. I notice things about people and places that escape most people. I didn’t even notice such an obvious pattern in myself. So, my food blog was born.

But it doesn’t stop there! To name my food blog, I held a contest on facebook. The competition was tough. My facebook friends were vying for the grand prize: a box of homemade goodies baked right here in my home. A lot of people threw their hat in the ring. The only other post that rivaled the amount of comments that I got on those few name-the-blog posts was the night my friends Emily, Miriam, and I stayed up late to watch the Winter Olympics online. I, with my Georgetown cupcake and laptop in bed, they with their laptops and their dreams of banging down my door for a cupcake. And even that conversation revolved around food.

My contest brought out the creative beast in my friends and acquaintances. My childhood playmates, my parking lot club, and my only friends I have so far in Florida chimed in, reacted, voted, and added their creative thoughts to the cause. So, friends, thank you. I had my favorites, that’s for sure, but I didn’t divulge which they were.

And so they voted, and the winner is Emily C. from Elkridge, Maryland. So friends, I give you the very first entry of my food blog, "Simple Foods, Stressed Out World." Stay tuned for a photo of her prize, coming soon. 

I hope you’ll join me. I hope you’ll enjoy it. I hope you’ll laugh with me during those late nights of stress baking when it’s just you, me, my kitchen, and a pantry full of ingredients awaiting their new life.

But most of all, I hope you’ll like these simple foods that are so much a part of my world.

Happy New Year, and welcome to my blog.